Monday, January 16, 2012
Rediscovery
On the walk home from work, I had a slight pain in my right Achilles, or just above it -- I thought, this might be an excuse not to run this evening. Somehow, I managed to convince myself run anyway.
I walked inside, put on my new running shorts, some running socks, running shoes, debated on whether or not I needed my capilene running shirt -- to keep me warm, but decided against it, which turned out to be a good call.
I set out at a brisk pace, trying to warm up my legs as much as possible before I started running -- not that the difference is actually that great, in fact it's only 2-3 minutes per mile, but it helps nonetheless.
I was almost all the way down my "driveway", which I use as my five minute warmup walk, when I realized I had left my watch at home. I felt no regret as I looked at my empty wrist, and continued anyway.
It turns out that's a pretty good call. Focusing on the numbers, I think, has removed me from the purity of it. "I need to run X number of miles this week to be ready for the half!" isn't something that I am apt to stick to for very long. The reason is that it, honestly, is boring.
Today, I felt something I haven't felt in a while. Even though it was only a quick one mile jog, it helped me to remember why I'm out there. I'm not out there to hit a target number, I'm out there because it feels nice -- before, during, and after. I love to bask in the glow of what I've accomplished. I don't get a great feeling of accomplishment for hitting a certain target speed, or a pre-set distance. I feel gratified when I overcome the obstacles and challenges, mental or physical, that I run in to when I'm out there alone. I only want to race against myself.
I walked inside, put on my new running shorts, some running socks, running shoes, debated on whether or not I needed my capilene running shirt -- to keep me warm, but decided against it, which turned out to be a good call.
I set out at a brisk pace, trying to warm up my legs as much as possible before I started running -- not that the difference is actually that great, in fact it's only 2-3 minutes per mile, but it helps nonetheless.
I was almost all the way down my "driveway", which I use as my five minute warmup walk, when I realized I had left my watch at home. I felt no regret as I looked at my empty wrist, and continued anyway.
It turns out that's a pretty good call. Focusing on the numbers, I think, has removed me from the purity of it. "I need to run X number of miles this week to be ready for the half!" isn't something that I am apt to stick to for very long. The reason is that it, honestly, is boring.
Today, I felt something I haven't felt in a while. Even though it was only a quick one mile jog, it helped me to remember why I'm out there. I'm not out there to hit a target number, I'm out there because it feels nice -- before, during, and after. I love to bask in the glow of what I've accomplished. I don't get a great feeling of accomplishment for hitting a certain target speed, or a pre-set distance. I feel gratified when I overcome the obstacles and challenges, mental or physical, that I run in to when I'm out there alone. I only want to race against myself.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Blame
I'd like to simply blame it on the cold, but even that would be admitting defeat, in this case to an outside element and not an internal one. "What's he saying, exactly?" might be your question right now -- entirely valid.
I haven't done much in the last couple weeks. I started brightly, spending time and carefully constructing a training plan which I pledged to stick to. What happened?
The latest in a long line of failures in attempts to better myself, as have the others, has seen some dark days of late, and so soon after the beginning. I wish to promise, to swear to those of you that have been so kind to follow me and believe in me thus far -- and further still those who haven't given up hope in the past two weeks and stopped following my blog -- that I will get back on track, or that I will make it happen. At this point, I can't make such a bold declaration. I cannot make such a promise as I don't know at the moment that I have it in me.
When I am running, I have a tendency to take the long way. "I could run 2 miles or I could run 3 miles." 9/10 times I will take the harder route, to prove to myself that today, on this run, right now, I am capable. I can do it. This mentality at time creeps in to my everyday thinking, and sometimes it doesn't. When I don't have this, when I don't have motivation, when I don't have drive, I falter and sit on the couch for weeks at a time.
All I can do with honesty at this moment is start again and take it one day at a time. Tomorrow will be a good day.
I haven't done much in the last couple weeks. I started brightly, spending time and carefully constructing a training plan which I pledged to stick to. What happened?
The latest in a long line of failures in attempts to better myself, as have the others, has seen some dark days of late, and so soon after the beginning. I wish to promise, to swear to those of you that have been so kind to follow me and believe in me thus far -- and further still those who haven't given up hope in the past two weeks and stopped following my blog -- that I will get back on track, or that I will make it happen. At this point, I can't make such a bold declaration. I cannot make such a promise as I don't know at the moment that I have it in me.
When I am running, I have a tendency to take the long way. "I could run 2 miles or I could run 3 miles." 9/10 times I will take the harder route, to prove to myself that today, on this run, right now, I am capable. I can do it. This mentality at time creeps in to my everyday thinking, and sometimes it doesn't. When I don't have this, when I don't have motivation, when I don't have drive, I falter and sit on the couch for weeks at a time.
All I can do with honesty at this moment is start again and take it one day at a time. Tomorrow will be a good day.
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